So of course this year Father's Day falls on my Birthday, double whammy. So it will suck for a few reasons. One because I know it's john's first father's day and he has to share it with my birthday. Two, because I will be down on top of John being down. Three, and the worst of all, it's two "firsts" without Asher in one day.
We should be pretty busy on that day thankfully, because we are going on vacation Monday. All I can think about on this vacations is writing his name in the sand. I feel like we are leaving him here in a way and it's horrible. I know that he will be with us as he always is I just hate this. We were planning to have a vacation this summer after he was born but no matter where I go or what I do I can't escape myself. I can't escape my pain and this emptiness.


Well, anyway John's aunt got us this beautiful crystal clock with Asher's footprints in it. We have it on his memorial table with his ashes and other things. I think it was suppose to represent "time heals all things". Ironically, the clock is broken and doesn't work. Figures. But it's still very beautiful and we love it.